1. Jimmy Carr At the London Prepares Olympic Diving. So far everyone has made it into the water - gravity is winning. http://t.co/ObrenOmj
    2012-02-20 21:40:27 on Twitter
  2. Jimmy Carr 10 o'clock live is on in about 25 minutes (at 10 o'clock) I better go & get nervous.
    2012-02-15 23:35:13 on Twitter
  3. Jimmy Carr If you live anywhere near Oxford can I suggest you come & see the show we're putting on http://t.co/qYe7lb5N
    2012-02-13 20:35:18 on Twitter
  4. Jimmy Carr The Edinburgh Festival is too far away so if you need a fix of fringe fun come to The Horne Section on 24th http://t.co/joNUAG84
    2012-02-10 17:50:02 on Twitter
  5. Jimmy Carr We're rehearsing for 10 O'clock Live - which is like cheating really. http://t.co/1Ye4JLwZ
    2012-02-08 19:35:20 on Twitter
  6. Jimmy Carr Just heading into the studio for the first 10 O'clock Live of the series. I'd forgotten how terrifying live TV is - damn my selective memory
    2012-02-08 14:45:19 on Twitter
  7. Jimmy Carr Tonight on E4 treat yourself to Noel Fieldings Luxury Comedy. It's like nothing you've ever seen, visually stunning & super funny.
    2012-01-26 21:10:21 on Twitter
  8. Jimmy Carr Just seen an advert for a dating site exclusively for people that work in uniform or are into them. Great news for the Toll Booth guy.
    2012-01-21 14:15:03 on Twitter
  9. Jimmy Carr Why is everyone giving Gary Glitter such a hard time - he just wants to settle down & have kids.
    2012-01-20 00:45:30 on Twitter
  10. Jimmy Carr I'm at the London Prepares Men's Artistic Gymnastic qualifications - it's like Cirque du Soleil without a director.
    2012-01-10 12:45:30 on Twitter
  11. Jimmy Carr Extra Gagging Order warm up show tonight Hen & Chickens at 7.30pm. Tkts go on sale 11am http://t.co/Rz7SP2pN
    2012-01-09 13:25:28 on Twitter
  12. Jimmy Carr Gagging Order warm ups at Hen & Chickens 6/10/12/20 Jan all at 7.30pm. Tkts on sale 11am on morning of each show http://t.co/Rz7SP2pN
    2012-01-05 17:20:18 on Twitter
  13. Jimmy Carr I've been busy these last few days putting material together for the 'Gagging Order' tour. I'll announce some small warm ups on twitter soon
    2012-01-03 20:15:12 on Twitter
  14. Jimmy Carr There are new mortgage rules to stop people borrowing more than they can afford. Phew. Just in time.
    2011-12-31 20:00:03 on Twitter
  15. Jimmy Carr There s uproar cos teens can see uncensored nude images on their blackberries. Or by stripping off and looking in the mirror.
    2011-12-31 19:50:02 on Twitter
  16. Jimmy Carr Boffins have come up with a pill that will help obese people lose weight. They keep it at the end of an 800 m running track.
    2011-12-31 18:20:02 on Twitter
  17. Jimmy Carr Critics say Blue Peter is 'outdated'. But what's outdated about saving milkbottle tops to buy a guide dog for Joey Deacon to walk to Africa?
    2011-12-30 21:00:02 on Twitter
  18. Jimmy Carr The 1st diet pill that doesn t cause diarrhea is going on sale. I shit you not. Is its brand name.
    2011-12-30 18:55:32 on Twitter
  19. Jimmy Carr A trade in illegal skin bleaching has been revealed. First there was a cover up, and then a whitewash.
    2011-12-30 15:10:32 on Twitter
  20. Jimmy Carr A couple in their 90s have celebrated their 75th wedding anniversary. And they can't remember having a single argument. Or each others names
    2011-12-30 13:05:30 on Twitter
  21. Jimmy Carr A Buddhist monk has been charged with sexual assault after 20 years. I guess what goes around comes around.
    2011-12-29 21:00:29 on Twitter
  22. Jimmy Carr We Are The Champions has been named top karaoke song of all time by scientists. Out celebrating Professor Philpott s birthday
    2011-12-29 20:00:29 on Twitter
  23. Jimmy Carr A hard up council are using ponies to cut the grass. I m jealous. I've always wanted one of those sit-on mowers.
    2011-12-29 18:50:28 on Twitter
  24. Jimmy Carr A cop fondled a teenager s breasts in an interview room. He also tried to take down her particulars.
    2011-12-29 16:55:29 on Twitter
  25. Jimmy Carr The NHS is selling Viagra £21 for 4. Hands up everyone who s tried Viagra ..I said hands.
    2011-12-29 15:30:28 on Twitter
  26. Jimmy Carr Question. How did they persuade Scarlett Johansson s mum to do that ad for Dolce and Gabbana s new perfume?
    2011-12-29 13:20:28 on Twitter